Struggling to Form a Family
Having a baby seems easy. But no one doubts that creating life is miraculous. The ability to do so has obviously perpetuated the human race. No skills or college degree are required. In fact, many people say they conceive without ‘trying.’ For those who struggle, the depths of despair cannot be measured. One may be healthy, young and active and have achieved all life’s goals until planning for a family. Women are constantly reminded of our biological clocks and recognize, after the age of 35, the health and viability of our eggs and our ability to conceive and carry to term may be in jeopardy.
For same sex couples or for single parents, the process becomes more complicated. Often, a donor, a surrogate, or both may be necessary. Or perhaps adoption is considered. All of these choices as well as the use of assisted reproductive technology (ART) can depend on good insurance coverage, capable physicians, and significant financial resources.
The emotional fallout of infertility can be considerable. When we see friends and family easily and joyfully conceive and deliver; when we see social media flash pictures of baby showers or gender reveal parties; we are constantly reminded of what we are unable to do. We watch others move on with their lives, while we are stuck trying to get out of the ‘starting gate.’ Our relationships can suffer. Our sex life can lack spontaneity and joy. Our friends who are parents can be viewed with envy and jealousy. Our lives feel on hold. Hoping to create a baby through an act of love may be reduced to visits to specialists, endless diagnostic tests, and often the use of hormones and medical procedures.
While ART has made significant advances, not everyone may be fortunate to conceive and deliver a full-term baby. Emotionally, infertility can lead to dark places.
The therapy room can be a good place to bring and work through all your emotional struggles in a safe space. If you are part of a couple, you can discover how each of you deals with grief, loss, envy and despair and how you can be available to support your partner to avoid having this life crisis tear you apart. Other options to create a family or to live a child-free lifestyle can be explored.
If you are struggling with infertility and how to move forward, please be in touch with me for a complimentary 15-minute consultation to see if I can be of help.
732 754-6601
